The Nails & The Fabric of My Life

September 6, 2009

Here I sit in Cabin number 4, at the resort homestead where I was raised. Although my parents have long since passed on and gone and it is now owned by my brother, the family essence and connection linger on.
I am now here with a daughter of my own. Sivanna is 3 and playing at the beach with her niece Elissa. They are playing in the exact spot I remember playing at as a child. The memory is alive and vivid in my mind as though it were yesterday. In fact it was 40 years ago. My, how time flies. It is truly amazing how much fun a little one can have simply playing in the sand. The creations to be made, chairs and tables, a house, dinners… and all made from sand and an imagination. Hours and hours of entertainment are to be had.
What a joyous morning I had lying in bed with my daughter talking to her about my own childhood. Sivanna is in awe at all the nails in the logs on the walls and she starts to count them. I then share with her how my father had built this cabin and how my mother had made the curtains but that they are no longer with us. Sivanna turns to me, tells me she loves me and then tells me she will share her Daddy with me. Sweet. Later that day while making the bed I realize that the blankets are the ones my mother made and I observe a patch of matching material, where she covered a hole as to not waste the fabric. These blankets are still going strong and I feel my mother’s love and essence fill the room. I appreciate my parent’s hard work and struggle. I am reminded that life on planet earth is not forever but that the relationships are eternal. How sweet it is to embrace the memories and to watch the glorious unfolding of new memories being made, all simultaneously…. I am feeling a sense of transformation, the amalgamation of my past and my future, all beautifully blending into the now and now I go to be in the moment of where I am….